Taking Your Friendship to the Next Level

2 Jan

One of the best parts of my life is the fact that many of my friends will confide in me and want relationship advice. I have a particular friend that comes to me, this person has been a great friend for many, many years. I will not disclose whether this is a female friend or a male friend.

This particular friend had been having a pretty one topic conversation with me for quite some time about the status of a relationship between someone they had been friends with for a very long time. I had heard different variations of this story for quite some time. Are they dating, aren’t they dating, what do they do now, where do they go from here?

I believe it is very difficult to move from the friend category to the more than friends category. When asked what my advice would be, I gave the same as I always do. First, are you prepared to not have a friend when you are done having “the talk”? Secondly, what happens if they say yes, they want to be more than friends and it just doesn’t work out.

The Talk came on a Saturday afternoon. Nerves were on edge. What to do, what to say? The other person’s answer was quite ambiguous. Yes, they were more than just friends. No, they weren’t a couple yet. No, they didn’t know what their future would hold. They would just have to figure it out a step at a time.

I would like to point out that I think all these answers are fine and perfectly acceptable. Baby steps aren’t always a bad thing. My question is this, have you ever wanted to go to the next level with any of your friends? What happened?

I tried to take a friendship to the next level when I was in my 20′s. I had just divorced and was easing back into the dating world. A few months after the divorce was final, a group of us were at a nightclub on the lake when IT happened. Off and on for several years this went. We would take our relationship to more than friends status and then go back to being friends. I would love to say that everything turned out to where we kept in touch and things were great, but we didn’t. After the last bout of more than friends turned into back to friends, we drifted apart and had no further contact. It makes me sad sometimes, because I really did love him as a friend. I just knew I wasn’t going to settle.

When I met G, I knew. I knew the first time I met him that he was going to be the one I grew old with. I was so confident I called my mom and told her I had just met the man I was going to marry. I was over the moon. 16+ years later, we are going strong. I’m very proud of that, too!

4 Responses to “Taking Your Friendship to the Next Level”

  1. Loretta January 2, 2013 at 9:45 am #

    You are right . Once you cross the line and go beyond friendship you can never go back to being just friends. I guess it just comes down to what you want more. Sex in the moment or a friend forever.

  2. Exorbitant January 2, 2013 at 2:24 pm #

    Men and women can be friends after sex.

  3. T January 2, 2013 at 3:13 pm #

    I’m friends with nearly everyone I’ve been in a relationship with; minus my ex husband. But in small circles you kind of have to be. There are some I would like out of my life however…

  4. Moncler Jackets Outlet January 3, 2013 at 11:04 am #

    Thanks for an concept, you sparked at thought from a angle I hadn’t given thoguht to yet. Now lets see if I can do one thing with it.

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