Were We Just Propositioned?

25 Dec

Due to the nature of this story, I am going to change some details to protect the other party. G and I had met a particular couple at a party that we really liked a lot. They were funny and we got along really well. Yes, they were an attractive couple. They held very high-powered jobs in their community. When Mr. X stopped by the store to invite G and I out to dinner, we couldn’t see any reason to say no.

Nothing unusual happened at our first dinner. Mr. and Mrs. X were charming, funny and full of stories. Pretty much status quo when we meet friends for dinner. Nothing out of the ordinary at our second dinner either. Looks like we had found new friends.

At our third dinner out, that’s when IT happened. IT being what I came to refer to as The Big Proposition. During dinner, Mr. X informed us that Mrs. X found G really attractive and that he was equally as interested in me. What the what??? They weren’t “swinger’s” in the traditional sense. Mr. X would only let men look at his wife. They preferred “relationships” with the couples they swapped with. What the what??? How the hell did this happen? Damn! And we really liked these people, too.

They were very gracious in giving us the opportunity to go home to discuss the possibility and would call soon. As if G and I had anything to discuss. The answer has always been No. Always will be No. I would like to say that we were disappointed that we would not see them again. Could not see them again. We weren’t. Like I have said before, G and I love each other very much and are committed to each other.

It was early experiences like this that has led us to be very careful about who we are friends with. What started out as dinner with people we would like to know better, turned into a dead-end.

What would you do if you and your partner were propositioned?

12 Responses to “Were We Just Propositioned?”

  1. Princess December 25, 2012 at 8:18 am #

    If we are propositioned, we discuss if we are interested, then tell the friends our decision. We have had a few friends proposition us that we weren’t interested in sexually, so we politely told them we just wanted to be ‘vanilla’ friends. Others, we have played with and had great times. Only once has our decision to not play led to losing a friend. Bear in mind, we have been married over 40 years and have been playing over 35. To us, it just makes a good thing better.

    • David December 25, 2012 at 10:42 pm #

      I totally agree!

    • Julia December 26, 2012 at 4:24 am #

      I agree about it making a good thing better. So many unnecessary limits are seemingly placed on us if we play by the rules our society deems appropriate. Life is too short to say no to so many opportunities. That being said, each of us still have the responsibility to play safe!

  2. Bob W. December 25, 2012 at 3:13 pm #

    I would of course have accepted their proposition. My wife and I were swingers for about three years and it was a great time and experience for both of us. We quit several years ago because of the prevalence of STD’s since we don’t enjoy having sex when using condoms. My wife has had sex with over 70 different guys and has enjoyed sex with men who had much larger penises than mine and could perform much better in bed than I could but it was a great experience for her. She will never have any regrets for not having sex with other well endowed and some very good looking men whom she might have found attractive to her and wonder what it would be like. Now she knows! This is one of the reasons for which I wanted us to engage in swinging but it was also extremely hot for me to watch her having multiple orgasms from another well endowed very virile men. It’s not for everybody though, no one can be jealous when you do this and you have to be able to separate love from sex to be successful. My wife and I love each other as much as humanly possible and we had a real party for 3+ years.

    • Julia December 26, 2012 at 4:29 am #

      I completely agree with you, Bob. All parties involved have to be in the right and same frame of mind… that this is about sex, not love, and exploring different avenues. If any party involves feel they might suffer from jealousy or insecurity later down the road, the plan needs to be halted before someone gets hurt. Being a swinger is not about being unfaithful to your partner, but rather about freedom to explore along with your partner different life experiences that will enrich and enhance everyone that is involved.

  3. phillip reel December 25, 2012 at 5:04 pm #

    If you realy love each other how could you have sex with a nother and have a clear mind I love my whife very much and could never do that to her or her to me something has got to be wrong with there relationship for either one to even think of that?

    • Princess December 26, 2012 at 4:58 pm #

      I think you missed the point. When a couple decides to share with others, it doesn’t mean they love their spouse any less. In most cases, us included, it means that we love them enough to allow/encourage them to climb to new heights sexually.. Sex and love are two distinct things. I can have sex with another man or woman and they be no more than a friend with benefits. We have several friends that we have sex with on occasion. We do things with them outside the bedroom as well as in the bed.
      On the other hand, when my husband and I make love, it is much more. Does one diminish the other? No.. Sharing with others, if it has had any effect on our marriage, has only strengthened it.
      But, it is not for everyone, especially if your marriage is on rocky ground. Sharing will not make a bad marriage better, it will destroy it. It can and often does make a good marriage better..

      • Julia December 26, 2012 at 7:09 pm #

        Well said, Princess!! Very well said. On all points

        • Bob W. December 27, 2012 at 8:48 am #

          Ditto to Julia and Princess. Both of you express my opinions exactly only with more eloquent words. Julia you wouldn’t happen to be from the Baltimore-Harford County area would you? We met with a couple who lived there about ten years ago and their names were Julia and Bob. I know it would be a long shot but had to ask. :)

          • JULIA December 27, 2012 at 6:53 pm #


            Sorry, I am not the Julia you know. I am from Cali. It was definitely a long shot but worth asking, because oft times, being willing to take a risk with a long shot, reaps great benefits!

  4. Joe D December 26, 2012 at 3:16 pm #

    We get propositioned all the time, and although we politely decline, most people who make the offer, understand that even if we decline, we can still be friends.

    Do try to remember, that, even though parameters and limits might be different for you – most swinging couples make an offer like that to enhance a friendship with people, and are attempting to explore the possibilities of making that friendship stronger.

    Personally, I wouldn’t assume that if you rejected their offer, that they wouldn’t still want to be your friends. Hearken back to your college days. Friends with benefits isn’t always a bad thing, if everyone is communicating properly. If that offer was put on the table back then, would you be so quick to throw away the friendship that WAS there, because someone offered you something more? Probably not.

    I’d say, if you and G made some good friends; keep that friendship going, and just make sure that your new friends are familiar with what you guys are into, and what you’re not into. Real friends respect boundaries. ;-)

  5. emerson January 10, 2013 at 10:30 pm #

    I had a friend of mine who shared my wife with me for over 20 years, Both of us enjoyed him coming up and having sex with her, while I watched or sometimes joined in. We’re all still friends tho we aren’t sharing now.

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